Before obstetrics and gynecology became specialized subfields in the late nineteenth century, the field of women’s healthcare was dominated by women who were midwives.

I never imagined being in the same category as Chrissy Teigen, Kim Kardashian, or Tan France. Nor could I have dreamed of someone else carrying and birthing my child. I’ve never aspired to celebrity culture or cared much about it, but alas, when my fertility doctor suggested pursuing surrogacy as my most viable path to parenthood, I began my journey into what I thought was the seemingly unattainable life of the rich and famous.

Intertwined within this conversation are reflections on the complex emotions that emerge from pregnancy loss and birth experiences, the wisdom of the body, trusting the body, and our culture’s poor grasp on what it means to grieve.