Bad Romance
“I am heartbroken but I am free now”
This was the first thing Aunty Seah said to me the day after her partner Uncle Chan passed away from a sudden heart attack. It was the beginning of the pandemic lockdown.
He was her world. As much as he genuinely cared and provided for her, it came at the price of being dominated and controlled. Illiterate, financially poor, not in the best of health, and child-like, Aunty Seah’s life choices were constrained.
Since those early days of mourning, she has become a woman of her own. Her white hair dyed and her face slightly made up, she has remade her rental flat into a make-believe world where she can relive her childhood.
Little piles of soft toys and animal figurines are salvaged. Throwaways have accumulated in thoughtful arrangements by her bedside, on the altar, under the TV, on the kitchen sink, and on unoccupied chairs. Hóng bāo [red envelopes] and paper cut-outs of Chinese zodiac animals fully cover the walls.
Aunty Seah’s happy childhood days ended early when she went to work at a factory at 19 before becoming a domestic helper, a hawker’s assistant, and a fast food restaurant worker. Each job burdened her body. At age 63, her legs gave in, her back bent, her fingers gnarled, and she could no longer work. Her hard-earned money didn’t add up to much. Now, in order to live, she has to hustle.
She sells tissue packs, salvages trash bins, and persuades friends to give her meals and small loans. Her humor and genuineness draw people into her orbit. She approaches people in her neighborhood in the void decks,(1) coffee shops, and parks. Through people, she has developed her social safety net for companionship and for resources to make things happen. And she turns to the unseen powers to grant her lucky numbers that she finds in the most ordinary things, like the pattern on egg shells.
Her dalliance with bad boys continues to bring her grief. The new man is a small-time gangster who takes care of her when he is sober. Though she has been able to level with him after a big fight, grievances continue to bedevil their relationship.
(1) A void deck is an open space found on the ground floor of Housing and Development Board (HDB) blocks in Singapore. It is used for community activities. HDB is a board responsible for public housing in Singapore.
Tan Biyun is an artist, filmmaker, and educator. Her close observations of life inform her art-making. She invites her audience to critically interrogate structural oppression in society and to reimagine a future of greater justice and care. In 2017, she launched a campaign with a group of volunteers against the eviction of the 80-year-old Sungei Road market, the last rent-free junk market in Singapore. Anyone who salvaged trash could make some change selling them in that market. She met Aunty Seah and her partner Uncle Chan there during the lowest point of their life. Together with Sharmeen/Sifar, Biyun raised funds for the couple, connected them to the state welfare, and collaborated with them to make the documentary Citizen Hustler, which premiered at the Singapore International Film Festival in 2020. Biyun is currently working with Aunty Seah to create a photography book about life lived on the margins of prosperous Singapore.